Glass of chaos

I'm so close all the time

It's constantly as if it could go both ways

Dark or light

Stress or free

It's jail or flight

Seems to be running

But more like a dream

I almost escape my head sometimes

I feel high

Then I'm pulled back in

But I remember

I'm building

I guess I'll continue 

I'm trying to enjoy myself

I laugh more

I cried

Or at least I felt close

It's getting better

But it's like I'm on the other side of a glass wall

Beyond the glass is a nightmare

My side of the glass is like a Carwash 

I see the car going through

I'm inside but I'm touching the glass of chaos