Tonight I bombed

I bombed tonight.  It never feels good to bomb.  One thing I've learned is that I'm a crowd has to pay attention type comic.  If everyone is talking in a bar I can't get up there with my low, awkward energy and expect to command to attention of the bar.  I refuse to just start yelling in the mic to try to "amp up the crowd".  That's not my comedy.

I can try to engage with the audience somewhat, but when they are across the room it's difficult.  As a comic you get judged very quickly.  People decide in the first few seconds whether they like you or not.  Tonight they decided to talk.  Fuck.

Solution to a bad gig: get up as soon as possible.  I have my open mic tomorrow.  I'll get up and shake it off.  Each time I get up there my soul turns a little darker.  One day my soul will become completely black and I won't give a fuck about anything.  This will be the day I can be a true comic.