No more why

Visions and flowers and under the dirt decisions
Up into the stars with over working fury
Untold lives and deep down secrets of visions
Toward the snakes unfurl asking where were we?
Skys go deep into the patterns and the folding
The sound goes far and extends like that night
With nothing in my hand from the molding
Feeding the teeth in fear of the metal knight
Holding true is loosing its grip and ceasing
The mountain is turning flat in front of my eyes
The home I don't own the term is only leasing
With fists unclenched to the sky I direct whys

Moving feet with unknown

Night time snow
Misunderstanding
The light glow
As too demanding
The hearts descent
Into the hole
The rules bent
To reach the goal
The snow
Is growing
Winds blow
He's sowing
God knows
The desire
My foes
Climb higher
I've let go
Without thought
I flow
This vacant lot
Without care
Without the heat
I stare
At moving feet

I am back

It's night and I'm tired
With an imagination that's fired
The stage that's been set
The feelings I get
Some parts are so good
Looks just like it should
But the little guys sick
And my head needs a kick
Cause I'm throwing away
The chance I might slay
The demon inside
Whom I confide
Without it's just you
Walk fearfully through
And I'll land on the side of the sun
It's there that I'll be when it's done

Readiness

It's almost here
Travels of long
That disappear
In this song
Held in my hand
Something so small
You can't understand
This world at all

But ready he is
I hold to the hand
Strongness is his
Change in demand

I might be content (oh no)

What do you do when all your needs are met? What do you do when the hungry monster inside has a full belly and is asleep? I guess you blog.

I began by forcing myself to do. Then I let go. Then I stopped doing. Now I'm not doing anything and yet everything is getting done. Have I become a Taoist? I heard there's a saying, "If you're not smart enough for Taoism then try Confucianism." All I have to say is there's no Confucianism for me. I'm following the Tao all the way. I'm like a green blade of grass that bends with the wind while the brown blades of grass break.

Ashtanga's 7 Head Stands

Backstage

I'm waiting backstage right now. Butterflies. Not sure about my act. I go on in 3 minutes! Now I'm thinking that maybe instead of blogging I should be figuring out my act. Ok Duke, pull it together. Breath. Think. Ok...funny vibes please enter me now. Funny molecules please enter my system. Ok.

Therapy

I have problems so I go to therapy. I'm married which is why I have problems. My goal in therapy is that my wife stop asking me to do stuff. My wife's goal is for me to start doing stuff without her asking.

One of the things my wife was asking me to do was to go to couples therapy. Finally I went to couples therapy and she didn't show up. I'm married, which is why I'm in therapy.

I accidentally told the therapist my real feelings which is always a mistake. After I spoke he said the words that were jumping out at him were,"Dead on the inside" and "checkmated by life". Then he asked me if I had a plan to kill myself.

I'm married.

Me writing

This is me writing my comedy set. My goal this year is to have 45 minutes. I'm not sure what's more likely to happen first; me getting a 45 minute comedy act or me getting my car repossessed (I'm ignoring a call from Toyota as I write this).

My writing right now is consisting mostly of me staring at this page that supposedly has my comedy set list. Mostly I'm just staring at this page. Then I started blogging about staring at this page. Then I took a picture of this page and then I took a picture of me looking at this page.

This is how well it's going.

I would like to perform this entire set soon. I think I'm going to book a gig in a few months where it's just me performing. Now I'm thinking out loud. Fuck that would make it real if I book a gig.

I guess a venue is next and then comes the stress to put together the act.

Holding cool

Holding cool
A precious grip
Attending school
While biting lip
Taking tide
It's going low
No room ride
A rocky tow
The kid is gone
He's on the lamb
Something wrong
A poets slam
Holding cool
Without a try
Leaving school
Without a cry
I'm ready then
That's with hope
But then again
These shoes are dope

This way

It's life
It's the way
It's what's written
I don't have a say
It's nature
It's the course of things
It's always
It's what mother brings

The ceiling

Staring at the ceiling
My mind chips peeling
Seeking some feeling
Without unreeling

No understanding
Just more demanding
Looking for landing

Avoiding the rough
Growing more tough

Just looking

Child of the week

Every dog has its day, even Stonepab. All week long he goes to the front of the line. I like to stand in front of the line with him and pretend that I'm father of the week.

On the couch again

How many hours have been spent
In the lapse of coherent judgement?
In the line of darkness with a cushion
In the mind of numbness I'm pushin
The longest of lives is holding time
Forgotten friends of strings unwind
Tales of sterling shine are told
And failing whispers horizontal hold
Me I'm nothing more than life
So sitting here laying next to wife

Open mic

The guys already talking about mushrooms.

I'm about to go up. Hearts beating a little faster.

Bill says will has a porn mustache.

Ok here I go.

------

It went as well as could be expected and by that I mean it went awesome. That's a pic of me below giving a thumbs up in the lobby of the Irvine Suites as I write the end of this blog.

Now it's time to go home and edit the first three scenes of the movie.

Back in Jiujitsu

The daydreamer is in class right now. Today me and the dreamer ditched school and went to the skate park. Life's good right now...as long as you ignore the landlord. The master told me once "no stressin in the session". I used to stress so much but now I'm letting go. The master also told me "the party starts when the worrying stops". I think I made it to the party.

Me and the dreamer are flying high, our heads in the clouds with our skate boards on the ground. I'm surfing the wave, it's now. I'm tripping. It's fun.

Tonight I'm funny...see ya there.

Love

How does the saying go? I think it's something like, "True love is a woman who knows her way around the kitchen." Ok so I made that up. She cooked and did the dishes. She brings home the bacon and fries it up too! That's vegan bacon in this metaphors just so you know.

The God test

I'm once again at jiujitsu praying that my kids aren't the worst behaved in class. So far there is a God.

I just downloaded the blogger app so I'm pretty much writing this blog to test it out. My wife checked with the Chinese calendar and it told her that I've had a shitty life so far but it should be getting better in my 40's, 50's, and 60's...so I'm looking forward to that.

As I try to finish up this little blog my youngest is getting reprimanded for not bowing before he gets back on the mat. I'm now agnostic.

I wanted to hit publish but the same kid got reprimanded again. There is no God...only a Chinese calendar.

Change takes its time

Sometimes change is so slow that you just say,"Forget you change! I'm going home." And then you go home only to find that your home is gone...everything changed. Then you forget how long change took and you think change is an overnight thing. Almost as quick as the time I promised God I would change if he would just let me stop throwing up and live, only to forget God as soon as I felt better. God doesn't exist...unless you think you're gonna die. That's when change comes, when you don't die, but not as much as when you do.

Two sides to comedy:

1. Being true to yourself

2. Connecting with an audience and really making them laugh

When you're at your best you've combined both.