Money

The stuff that makes life worth living right? Until you get it, then you tell everyone that it doesn't matter that much. Then you kill yourself.

Let's do this!

I want boat loads. Is that so bad? I'm too fucked up from TV and growing up in south Orange County. I've tasted the apple. Once you've tasted the apple you really are fucked. There's no eden after the apple. Is that when you grow up? You taste the apple and you get thrown into the harsh world. The world of disappointment, crushed dreams, pain and all the other fun stuff that comes along with breathing.

I can't speak from experience so I will speak from ignorance. Confident ignorance, that's the way you speak in America. Ok, so with all the confident ignorance within my being I say Life is better with money (Period).

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Gods of the universe listen to my plea, I wish to learn the lesson that life is not better with more money than anyone in the world has.

Teach me Universe. I double dog dare you!

Let's eat till it hurts!

My favorite quick fix, eating. Thanksgiving is when you eat till you might throw up, that's what's expected. I do what's expected when it means that I can check out. If I can somehow turn this mind off with a feeling so wonderful that food can give me, I eat. I was told to join the clean plate club. I'm a member. When I was a kid I'd eat anything. I remember my best friends mom complaining to her son, "Why can't you be more like Duke? He eats what ever is put in front of him."

I tried the God thing but it's not as quick as homemade apple pie with whipped cream and ice cream. God wants delayed gratification, pie just wants you to open your mouth and do nothing more than enjoy.

I'm also very vain. I want to look good. It sucks being vain and fat at the same time; it's like having good taste and being poor. If you're vain and you like to eat then you are most likely familiar with fasting, dieting, weight watcher-ing and all the other crap we do to look good. I've familiarized my self with techniques designed to tame the beast; I've starved that mother fucker and he was not pleased!

I went 10 months with no sugar or flour. I considered the mexican pizza from taco bell to be a corn tortilla (you've got to cheat a little if you are going to eat to be skinny). 10 months the beast resided dormant within my gut, but he was hungry. We were invited to a wedding in Tiburon; we took the fairy. Waiting for the fairy I said,"fuck it!" These are the two words before any relapse. I didn't care, I was hungry and I looked like an underwear model.

I started with the large clam chowder in a large bread bowl. The bread was so good when it touched the lips! I ate every bit of it. The fairy came and I had cokes and candy during the trip. Once at the wedding I proceeded to eat for the next three hours straight. I was hungry.

While waiting for our fairy I thought I was going to be sick. I went to the bathroom. I sat on toilet and my entire body turned white and cold sweat poured down my forehead. This is what happens when the body thinks it's dying. "Please God don't let me puke, please don't let me puke." I'm very religious when I'm in a jam. My stomach was rapidly reaching the boiling point, I beyond the point of no return something was going to happen. "Please God!"

Diarrhea and puke at the same time with cold sweats. Lesley's banging on the door telling me we're going to miss the fairy and I'm narrowly escaping death. I felt much better after. We took a cab home and I slept like a baby.

I was off the wagon and food was once again my close companion and off I went on one more journey to fatdom.

What's the point?

Happy Thanksgiving. Woke up with an incredible headache and serious thoughts of vomiting. This was followed by a nonstop chatter from a three year old about his upcoming birthday. "Dad's sick. Go down stairs and play the wii."

"Is this how it's gonna be today?" I thought to myself.

I told Lesley that I was PMS'ing really bad and she gave me some midol.

Lesley cooked some eggs and hash browns for the family and I chugged down a cup of coffee. I'm feeling a little better. Lesley leaves for yoga.

I'm stuck with the kids in the house for what I think is going to be hours of stir craziness. Lesley texts me that there's a crazy 6K run with a ton of people in costumes. I get the kids dressed and we head out on an adventure to the harbor.

Thousands of people scare my oldest but I talk him into moving down into the sea of people. We watch Lesley's yoga class through the window and then head to the race. I run into an old friend from high school with his kids, wife and parents. I run the race with the kids. They're stoked.

I'm feeling better. Awesome coincidences of the universe and good time spent with the kids have changed my attitude. That's the only point I really worth thinking about. My attitude. It's all I have control over and it feels best when I'm thankful.

That's the point.

jealousy & envy

I woke up to a terrible dream this morning. I won't bore you with the details but I walked over to my wife to hold her and my old friend grabbed her and started making out with her. I then realized that we were no longer together and she was with this other man. My blood fumed with jealousy and I immediately woke up. The dream really shook me up. My stomach was in knots.

Like Jonh Lennon, I guess I'm just a jealous guy. I love my wife. She's beautiful. She's very smart and she's got a great sense of humor. Of course I've taught her a lot about humor, but still she's very funny. And she's fun. She's fun to be with. She's easy to hang with.

I don't know what I'd do without her.

The point is don't fuck with my woman. I'm the only one that fucks with my woman. I'm married to her so the fucking is part of the deal.

I grew up playing music and wanted to do it for the rest of my life...blah blah blah...boring boring boring. I stopped playing music...blah blah blah...tears and sadness...boring boring boring. After giving up the dream to play music I stopped listening to music. I didn't want to see bands play live. I'm a jealous and envious guy. I knew in my heart that I should be the one on stage. It wasn't and the universe was off kilter because of it. At least my universe, but come on what other universe is there? For all I know, you guys could be holograms sent down from the mothership trying to trick me. I sure would feel stupid getting tricked by a hologram.

Rich people too. Fuck you rich people!!! That's exactly how I feel...until I get rich then I'm totally cool with rich people. But If I don't then fuck those guys.

I'm envious. I want what you have. I want it all. I want the love and the money. If I can't have it then I'll die from cancer that I get from being jealous and full of self pity and envy.

Death and deeds

Woke up at 1:30am last night with a headache and what seemed like the possibility of vomiting. Whenever it's the middle of the night and the possibility of vomiting is around the corner my mind begins to ask questions. The usual suspects; is there no god? What am I doing? Then the randomly self destructive thinking kicks in; I think I'm dying. What if this is it? Do I have cancer? What if I have aids? I'm dying and I'm not prepared. Then I start beating myself up for liking Woody Allen so much.

I'm too old with no credits that matter to anyone important. This is a knock to all people who feel they are important to my life.

Have you ever been that guy that tells his friends that he has no friends. Who are we? Chopped liver? You guys don't understand. My life is passing me by.

I'm making a movie. Each day it's becoming clearer. I can see it. I think I can do it. At least I have something to do; it's better than waiting around to die.

Music and creation

Today is day 66. I like doing things where I count days; it makes me feel like I'm on a journey. I like being on a journey; it gives mehe feeling that my life is engaged in some type of motion. In order to be on a journey you need to have a destination. A journey without a destination is aimless wandering in the desert. Hopefully I'm out of the desert an into the journey. My journey: yoga and writing. Today is day 66 of writing everyday and practicing yoga at home everyday. My destination? The realm of creation.

What writer doesn't want to reside in the realm of creation? I know it exists too; I've seen it, in another life. My life seems to be a series of worlds that I happen to stumble into. When I was in 4th grade I thought o would be cool to play the saxophone. This entry into the world of music was also my first yep into the realm of procrastination. Nothing invites procrastination quite like the aspiration to become musically proficient at an instrument. This quality ofnprocrastination has haunted me for all the years preceeding my first involvment with music. Procrastination is the enemy of the artist. The enemy of the writer and the enemy of the yogi.

Skating on the thin ice of the elementary school band introduced me to the world beyond the one I saw with my eyes. There were moments I became transformed. I left what I knew and visited a world of beauty. Art brings us what is beautiful. If we are in hell then art and music has the ability to give us a glimpse of heaven. Why not spend your time transforming hell into heaven?

The artit creates the most beautiful works when they leave this world and tap into another. When you can, as Jim Morrison said, break on through to the other side, then you can become a vessel for the creation of beauty.

So what is my destination? To be a vessel into heaven. To unlock something beautiful. Sometimes beauty comes from places you might not expect. I don't care. Come where you must. I jury want to get high from the process because at heart I am a stoner. Although I hate smoking pot I like the idea of getting high. I embrace the vibration.

So here I am, day 66. I'm not there but I'm doing the work. That's where it starts. The work is the bong and the lighter. The work is the acid tab on the toungue. It might not kick on until you engage in the process. More than once and consistantly.

A sliver of success please?

Woody Allen says that he's just a lucky guy. He was born with a good sense of humor. He could write jokes. It came easy to him. He started writing jokes at age 16 and immediately people wanted to buy them. It's luck. Still he's a pessimist at heart. He's a lucky pessimist.

I don't think anything comes easy to me. Certainly nothing that I do naturally do people want to immediately buy. If I look at my life in that respect then the facts probably say I'm unlucky. (This is not including my family that seems to have come into my life fairly easily).

When it comes to finance, and let's all admit that finance is all that really matters, I'm not a lucky person. I remain optimistic though.

I seem to get close to success sometimes. I can taste it. That's where the optimism comes into play. Because I've had times in my life when I almost touched success it became believable to me that I could attain it. I keep the optimism but the failures get me down.

You've got to fail to win. It makes the wins taste that much better. This is the kind of thing you have to tell yourself. Each failure is a step closer to the win right?

Each no is closer to a yes. I guess.

I'm so happy you failed!

Am I completely wrong when I sense that my friends and people around me are happy when I fail? Am I happy when other people fail? I think when I'm not doing what I want to be doing I am happy when other people fail. There's something so funny about seeing another person go down.

The reporter repeatedly asked me how old I was in an attempt to make me look foolish. I mean how old are you? And you still believe in fantasy?

I'm stuck. Grandma is coming over to babysit, I'm taking Lesley out to celebrate 16 years and I smell. I'm trying to get done my daily stuff before I embark on my nighttime journey.

I need to write and do yoga. Two things. This is one. Look at the failure type.

Strange blog. It doesn't make sense and neither do I.

People laughed last night and I was almost caught off guard. People, strangers, a group, laughed when I was on stage and it felt good!

Run baby run

Why did I choose run from your problems? I don't know. I talked about running from your desires last blog. You run and god fucks you. Don't fuck with God! My friend has that poster hanging on the wall of his kitchen and God is pissed.

I don't want to piss off God. What are my problems? Sometimes you've got to see what your problems are to see if you're running from them. Maybe you have to look down to see if your feet are moving fast to realize if you're running. How do you know if your feet are moving fast? I know for me. If I'm watching tv on the couch and my stomache is stressing. I like to ignore my life with tv. If I'm listening to podcasts and my stomache is stressing. Maybe it's just my gut that tells me if I'm running.

Masturbation is the big one. When I have something to do then all I can think about I masturbation.

Internet surfing also. I have to click that story on yahoo and then it sucks me down the drain of procrastination.

Ok I know the answer to this one and it's pretty simple. We procrastinate because we're scared to think. We have a big idea that we know we should be doing. The poblems is you can't just sit down and do a big idea, you've got to break it down into small steps and figure out the next thing to do. Break it down. Then you'll know. Do somerhing underwhelming. It starts with the ripple that turns into a tidal wave.

Don't run from your problems, surf them.

The party starts when the worrying stops

The party starts when the worrying stops.

This is my saying. This is the saying that was invented for me. Me personally. Kind of like your mantra only I'm allowed to tell people. I think I'm allowed to tell people. Now that I think of it maybe I shouldn't be telling people. Maybe I should keep it to myself . Maybe if you keep it to yourself it makes it bigger.

OK am I having a mini revelation right now? Did I just learn something new about how the universe works? About how a human operates? I know this, if you keep a secret it gets way bigger in your mind. It consumes you. It becomes bigger than life and then it becomes life. This is the power of something you hold in. But what if you hold something good in? You don't share it with anyone. You tell yourself, or maybe you challenge yourself not to share this with anyone. Does that secret grow? Does it get bigger and all consuming?

The party starts when the worrying stops. I love to party. I'm built to stress. I think that when you drink your worries disappear and we all know that alcohol is what lubricates the party.

Some people believe that worry causes cancer. I think the cancer is deeper than that and starts with not looking within yourself for a desire. I heard once that desire means of the father. What if your desire is a higher calling? If you avoid this calling then God gets a whale to swallow you whole until you say, "OK God, fuck it. I'll go with you on this one."

Maybe your desire is to make a certain kind of porn that no one has heard of. If that's what God wants then that's what God wants. Remember that he's the original inventor of the vagina. Whoever invented the vagina cant be bad in my book.

If you are running from God you are going to be stressing out, If you are stressing out you won't be partying. Unless you're drunk. Unfortunately alcohol doesn't work forever.

Look within. Find the true desire. Follow it. When you do what you know in your heart what you should be doing then you avoid stress. When you avoid stress you avoid cancer.

Don't get cancer just party!

Death

Death. Am I in denial? We are dying. I have a terminal disease called birth. It's going to end but it's most likely going to get bad in the years preceeding. Death.

I'm not afraid to go to sleep. Most people enjoy sleep. I love sleep. I love the thought of sleep. Why am I not afraid of sleep? Why do I cherrish my sleep. Sleep is just turning off your body, right? We're so scared of death but we love sleep. It5's the eternal sleep, or the unknown sleep that we are all avoiding.

Comedians know death. Comedians are in denial. You have to be in denial to experience the type of death that comics experience. Death on stage. They say it's worse than real death. Nothing turns off, I can tell you that much. Silence is death to a comedian. Silence is death and laughter is oxygen. If you stop breathing you start dying. Breathing is good. Keep breathing.

People don't want to see you die. Let me think about that.... That might not be entirely true. I think comics want to see you die. Is it because it's not them dying?

Death. You've got to die to learn how to live. Wilco song.

We run so hard from death that we don't live. Why do you have to die to live? Maybe it's because you are running through illusions when you die. When the fearfull illusions dissapear we can relax. When we relax we can laugh. When we laugh we become alive.

I've allways loved to laugh. Maybe I love life. I like fucked up laughter. What's up with that? For another day.

Walk through the illusions of fear. Walk through death. Die. And then start living.

Windows in time

OK, yesterday I mentioned that I was writing my 60th blog but in fact today is the number 60.

The windows in life are a strange thing. Windows open and windows close. When they are open it seems like they could be open for years, when they are closed it seems like they will never open again, sometimes that's true. When a window closes a decade or two could slip by before it opens again. My thought is this, step through the window. It's so much more fun looking for meaning and signs in life. Whatever realm you step into can become real, the choice is yours.

It's a combination. I believe in both. I'm a searcher. Searcher are the best. (Whoever I label myself as I have to think that is the best.)

My Dad died when I was 12. He left when I was 5. The window has definitely closed on that one. When you have children a window is open. I have children. Two beautiful boys. Sometimes they're crazy, sometimes they're obnoxious, sometimes they can be unreasonable. They're boys. The window to be a father is open to me now. This window will not be open forever. This is the choice of a man. A man sees this window and steps through it.

At the same time I have to become the man I want to be. The man I'm meant to be. The man I want my children to emulate. I have to be true to myself. If I'm not I don't give my children an example, I give them a lie. Walking this line, the line between being a good father and being a true example of a great man is the test. Some run, some hide, and some look at the test in the eye and ride the wave.

What windows have closed for you? What windows are open? They won't stay open forever.

Doing what you need to do is the best vacation possible. Do the work and watch your body relax.

Radio interview

The interview actually happened. If it came out good or not we'll have to wait and see. I'm so tired and on the verge of getting sick right now. Why am I so tired? Because I've been working non stop for the last couple of weeks at a job. No days off, and waking up at 4am each day. It's late and I still have to wake up early. What am I doing? I'm on a streak that I can't break. I've been writing and doing yoga everyday for that last 60 days. If I want to or not.

How will the radio spin the story. She might say that the one big lesson that I learned was it's hard to replace Conan Obrien.

It's much harder than it seems.

I have have trouble quitting things. She pointed out to me that I still even say that the show is on hiatus. I can't bring myself to say that I quit.

In one form or another my journey continues. I hope that I keep my mind and heart open enough to learn from my past. I want to grow.

Perspective

It's all about perspective. We live in a world of perspective. We live in a world with a realm of 360% worth of perspective.

From an early age I mastered one particular perspective, it went something like: This sucks! It worked for any situation. I used it for all situations. This sucks.

I think I really learned it in Jr high. That's how you talk to a chick on the phone. I used to not know what to say to a girl when I called her on the phone. Then I figured it out. Everything sucks. Whenever you're able to articulate how something sucks you become cool. Especially in Jr High, but let's face it, life is jr high.

Later in life I also learned how to master the art of the worst case scenario. My brain just works so naturally in predicting the worst possible thing that could happen.

So what do you do when you've mastered the art of "worst case scenario" and the all important "this sucks" perspective? My answer is: try something different. You are a master, now learn something new.

We are so scared of the unknown. What's so scary about this experience on this dust ball? You either live or you die. The scary part is what other people think. Why is that? Why do we care so much? Maybe it's built into our DNA. A star reader told me that a thousand years ago I was kicked out of the tribe. For being too different.

Maybe my fear is being kicked out of the group. Of starving. Of having to fend for myself and then getting eaten by a saber tooth tiger.

It's 2010. I'm not going to die if someone disagrees with me. It's ok to try something new.

It's all about perspective. The is a 360% realm of perspectives starting with "This sucks" and ending with "this sucks". Who gives a fuck what's real. No one knows the truth. We're a heard of ants on the side of the freeway, we don't know what the fuck is going on.

News flash, you don't know the truth. You will never know the truth. Fuck the truth!

What does that leave us with? Life here and now. What is comfortable and what is uncomfortable? This is the only question to concern yourself with.

Where does God's will stop and your's begins? You'll never know you stupid son of a bitch. Some people say that God's will is from the clouds up and from the clouds down is mans will. Other people say that the big stuff is God's and it's the little stuff that's ours.

If we don't know then what's the most comfortable. What about this? God is everything. God is everything and everywhere. There is no place without God.

This is my perspective for a second. If this is my perspective then that means that I don't get to take credit for the great accomplishments in my life. I'm no longer the hero, God is. But it also means that I get to let go of the blame and shame and negative self talk that rattles through my brain all day long. This is a pretty good deal for me.

Instead of trying to get spiritual I can realize that I already am spiritual. I'm a spiritual; being having a human experience. Everything for me is spiritual. I don't have to climb some mountain to find God. It's a spiritual experience just brushing my teeth.

I'm so glad I took that acid. I saw another plane. When you take acid it's a takes a while for it to kick in and you're not sure if it's going to work or not. What you end up doing is an internal check in with yourself. You feel your entire body and ask yourself if you are tripping yet.

I love the internal check in. I do it now without the acid. It makes this life a much stonier experience when I can feel my body and experience some of this life without my head rattling off nonsense.

Let go of preconceived notions. Get into your body. Trip. If anything it's fun and the perpective I want today is a fun one. And one that feels like it's leading me into beauty. I'm enlightened if I could only be enlightened which I am.

Comedy loser

The comedy gods were not smiling upon me last night. The crowd wasn't either. Ok there were laughs but not as loud, powerful and as frequent as I imagine in my mind that I deserve. I wasn't feeling the comedy vibe yesterday. After the show this lady told me that my eyes were so red. My eyes feel red right now. She asked if I was stoned. No. I might as well have been, I'm out of it. I think I'm stoned off of sleep deprivation.

First mistake: ten comics drew numbers to determine the order. I picked ten. In my mind I think everyone in the audience is forced to be there. They can't wait for it to be over. They were dragged there by their friends. They don't care about comedy and they feel like they are being held hostage. I'm thinking I can't go on tenth, they audience will be worn out. I traded a guy for second. Not a good choice. The crowd was very cold. I got depressed. I lost.

I don't know the rest of the mistakes. Probably getting into comedy in the first place.

Comedy contests and denial

I used to carry with me a thought within myself that I could be living a dream of mine if I wasn't such a pussy. If I didn't do anything I could have spent my life wondering what could have been if I just tried. I'm happy that I tried because now I know, I can't live that dream.

If you want to be in comedy you need to be in denial. You have to suck in the begining, but you need the denial to keep you going. Whenver I enter a contest I allways seem to think I'm the best. I have something within me that thinks I'm netter than other comedians. What I think of myself and what actuall comes out when I do my act mut be two completely seperate things. Although to be fair I won a contest in El Paso.

During my last contest I thought I killed. My friend ho went up that night I felt did not do good. After his set I was consuling him. "it wasn't that bad." I said. It turns out that not only was it not that bad, he beat me. I allways let myself feel humiliated after these things. I tried to stay for a second but then did a b line for my car and proceeded to go down a shame spiral for the entire drive home and a few days after.

It turns out that someone in the semi finals bailed out so I'm back in the running. Tonight is the contest. I'm going up against people who won last round. I'm nervous, I'm going to try new material. It's still a mystery to me. I want to get in that funny place. I hope I can get there soon. At least figure out how to get there when I want to.

I'll let you know the experience tomorrow. I need to get back to pretending that I'm working.

I get huge ideas

What's wrong with me? Who doesn't ask that question? Those are the people you need to be worried about.

I get these ideas that are too much. Most people would let the idea pass without giving it too much notice. Not me, I take it and run. I run straight to the ditch.

I'm an unlucky optimist that sometimes gets depressed. I visited a psychic one time and she said I have bad karma. She offered to get rid of the bad karma for $600. She mad it clear that it wasn't her that was charging hat much, that's just how much the crystals cost.

Me and my bad karma big ideas. I was cretive, it drove me insane. I watched TV. I decided to watch entertainment instead of make it. I sat on the couh for ten years and stuffed my feelings. Things built up.

I had to do something to break out of these fake gold hand cuffs disguised as a cubicle.

I wrote a screen play.

It sucked. I went back to work. I let my soul get almost completely sucked out of me. It was a pretty great stunt now that I think about it.

I needed something. I thought about people who became rich and for some reason the guy who started the boy bands came to mind. I put an add on craigslist looking people who wanted to be in a boy band. Then I got an idea and put an ad that said management looking for Christian rock bands. I sat back in my chair at my cubicle and waited.

I received two emails from guys that wanted to be in a boy band. I receved over 30 emails from Christian rock bands. The universe was talking to me. I was meant to start the Christian rock scene and make orange county the bastian of Christian rock the way seatle was for grunge.

My mind rapidly began making a plan. Whenever I get my big ideas the wheels in my head begin to spin.

I would sign 24 Christian rock bands. I would sit them down and instill the idea that they would need to stick together. They would need to help each other. I would need a commitment from them for two nights a week. Sundays and Wednesdays. These would be Christian rock shows. 3 bands would perform a night. All bands would be required to go o all shows. If the average band was 4 people this means we would have a garraunteed draw of 100 people per show. Nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd. This hundred would easily turn into 300 which in my mind would turn into thousands in a very short time. I was going to get rich off Christian rock!

I played the scenario through in my head and it ended with a sold out stadium and me backstage bragging about how much money I'm making off Christians and that I'm not a Christian. Someone overhears me. I'm exposed.

Everyone turns on me. I become hated by the world.

So I chose to start a talk show instead.

I take things personally

The one problem about having a job is that eventually people want to talk to you.

D: what are you trying to say to me?

F: Its a simple question

D: it's not a question at all it's a personal attack. Your asking me if I'm stupid.

F: I just wanted to know if you knew how to use tools.

D: I worked construction for years. Both the home owners and the boss yelled at me but I know how to use tools. Just make sure to ask which room they want you to demo before you demo a room.

The romantic stage (between comedy bros)

Duke's walking in the forest of El Toro. Breadth walking. Affirmations.

D: Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels. I'm a lean mean comedy killing machine. All that I need is within me now. Nothing tastes as good as Mrs. Fields.

Ryan is in a business suit. Duke walks by.

R: I think you should cry.

D: Ryan?

R: I think you should cry.

D: Are you a business man?

R: I think you should cry.

D: You're in a suit.

R: I'm in Real Estate. But you need a cry. I can see it.

D: What are you talking about?

R: Like I said, I'm in Real Estate.

D: What does that have to do with me crying?

R: You need to have a breakdown to have a breakthrough.

D: I'm not sure if that's for me.

Business guy walks up with a sandwich.

Ryan is giving Duke weird looks.

B: The house on mertyl is BOM. Back on market. Who's this?

D: I'm Duke.

B: How do you know this prep?

Ryan is making a face no.

D: Around town. I'll see you guys later.



(Side idea- incorporate Ryan's skits into movie ie. he helps me talk to agents "Don't go there." He helps me interview for agencies "1 million dollars". He teaches kids not to do drugs. He give's me come back tips like the fart break down. He trains me in comedy."

My sidekick lover helps with my book

Me: You're good man.

Sidekick: It's just what I do

M: I want to write a book.

S: I read.

M: A kids book. I want to teach a lesson.

S: I'm gonna do a kids book.

M: What's you're story?

S: I don't know. I do know that kids like spaceships and dinosaurs. I'll probably write some type of spaceship dinosaur book.

M: Sounds like a hit. I want mine to teach a lesson. It'll be some type of metaphor for the world around you. The stuff around you. Look around you. All the stuff around you is there because you made a choice that everything around you is in the place it's supposed to be in. Maybe everything around you is rad and it's just always been that way. That's called luck. Maybe everything around you is shit. That's bad luck. Sometimes when you have bad luck it's time to make some choices. Maybe it's time to start getting rid of some of the shit.

S: I didn't make a choice.

M: Neil Pert says that If you don't choose you still have made a choice.

S: Who's in you're book?

M: Bonky. That's the hero's name. Bonky is way cool, but he's unlucky.

S: Let me guess, he gets lucky.

M: He likes life. He sees life as something beautiful. He thinks you can always see beauty. He thinks nature is beautiful. He's sensitive and is available to learn lessons from the universe. He's Bonky

S: Maybe Bonky can hang with dinosaurs and spaceships?

M: Sounds pretty cool.